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ficlet: Nothing

Bad me. I was sorting through my Primeval fic folder the other day and discovered this, which I wrote a few months ago for a comment fic party over on sunsets_dinos  lj, and I never properly re-posted it to my lj. So here's a wee bit of dark and angsty Lester/Connor for a Tuesday evening.

Title: Nothing
Author: Athene
Fandom: Primeval
Pairing/characters: Lester/Connor
Rating: 18
Warnings: Smut, language, borderline dub-con 
Spoilers: Set after 3.3, but no actual spoilers
Disclaimer: Not mine. ITV and Impossible Pictures own them.
Word count: approx 260
Summary: This was wrong.


This was wrong. This was so fucking wrong, and yet he still couldn't bring himself to say no. Not when those sad, dark eyes had been staring at him again, silently begging for something, anything to make the pain stop even for just a moment.

Connor had turned out to be a surprisingly attentive lover. He had got into the habit of massaging Lester’s back and shoulders before he fucked him. Sometimes he seemed to want to cuddle afterwards, although Lester tried to discourage that as much as possible. But it gave them the illusion that they were both getting something out of the arrangement, even though they both knew that was a lie.

But not tonight. Tonight there was no massage, no cuddles. Tonight there was just Lester trapped beneath the young man as Connor thrust into him again and again without making a single noise. Connor wasn't violent or overly rough, but when Lester risked a glance over his shoulder he felt a chill ripple through him.

There was nothing in Connor’s eyes. No emotion. No tears. No pain, no anger, no compassion, no desperate, aching need for the world to make sense any more.

Lester turned away. He didn’t want to admit that he was afraid, didn’t want to admit that right then he would have given anything to have the sad puppy eyes back. He was no longer sure which one was the real Connor, and he wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to know the answer to that question.

Lester didn’t dare to look back again.


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36 comments or Leave a comment
reggietate From: reggietate Date: June 1st, 2010 08:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
*meep* That's rather good, if a bit scary!
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: June 1st, 2010 09:00 pm (UTC) (Link)
thanks. Whenever I do anything with this pairing it either seems to be angsty hurt/comfort or just out and out dark angst.
prehistoriccat From: prehistoriccat Date: June 1st, 2010 08:46 pm (UTC) (Link)
eep! a little disturbing but a great fic
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: June 1st, 2010 09:01 pm (UTC) (Link)
hee, thanks. You appear to be reading slash again, are you starting to like it?
lukadreaming From: lukadreaming Date: June 1st, 2010 08:59 pm (UTC) (Link)
Eek! Scary and very intense . . .
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: June 1st, 2010 09:03 pm (UTC) (Link)
thanks. I'm rather fond of dark and scary Connor.
fredbassett From: fredbassett Date: June 1st, 2010 09:19 pm (UTC) (Link)

Very intense.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: June 1st, 2010 09:26 pm (UTC) (Link)
Considering that it was written for a party at sunsets_dinos, dark and nasty was pretty much a given!
mysteriousaliwz From: mysteriousaliwz Date: June 1st, 2010 09:21 pm (UTC) (Link)
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: June 1st, 2010 09:27 pm (UTC) (Link)
thanks, poor boys, they're so breakable.
telperion_15 From: telperion_15 Date: June 1st, 2010 09:23 pm (UTC) (Link)
*meep whimper*

You're breaking people again...
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: June 1st, 2010 09:28 pm (UTC) (Link)
You're breaking people again...

If you think this is broken, you should see the fic I was writing yesterday! Speaking of which, I was supposed to be writing a bit more of it tonight...
rusty_armour From: rusty_armour Date: June 2nd, 2010 12:01 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh, wow! This piece is dark but very good! I like the way their relationship started, with Connor looking for some way to escape his pain. It's sweet that Lester tries to dismiss the importance of the whole thing, when obviously the relationship means something to him too. I love the line about Lester wishing he could have the sad puppy eyes back, not to mention that final paragraph. :-)
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: June 2nd, 2010 10:00 pm (UTC) (Link)
thanks. Dark Connor bunnies keep sneaking up on me and I end up with lots of one-shot ficlets like this, because there's just so much angst to play with post 3.3. Poor Lester just got caught in the fallout.
jaynedoll From: jaynedoll Date: June 2nd, 2010 08:18 am (UTC) (Link)
That was great, very dark and angsty. I like Connor/Lester as a pairing, I think it works surprisingly well.

I've still got an unfinished Connor/Lester fic but I was struggling with it so put it to one side.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: June 2nd, 2010 10:02 pm (UTC) (Link)
I do have a worrying soft spot for Connor/Lester hurt/comfort fics, I have to admit. Although I also like them a bit dark and angsty occasionally. So dark and angsty hurt/comfort is pretty much a win-win fic!

Edited at 2010-06-02 10:02 pm (UTC)
echo_fangirl From: echo_fangirl Date: June 2nd, 2010 08:46 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh ouch... That's (wonderful) disturbing.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: June 2nd, 2010 10:03 pm (UTC) (Link)
thanks, I do like dark!Connor sometimes.
canadian_jay From: canadian_jay Date: June 2nd, 2010 01:52 pm (UTC) (Link)
Eep! *hides head beneath wing*

All dark and twisty and hot!
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: June 2nd, 2010 10:05 pm (UTC) (Link)
*tries to coax you out again* Dark and twisted pretty much covers this pairing when you throw post ep 3.3 angst into the mix.
fififolle From: fififolle Date: June 2nd, 2010 07:21 pm (UTC) (Link)
weeaauurrr *meep*
scary and painful!
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: June 2nd, 2010 10:06 pm (UTC) (Link)
hee, thanks. I'm breaking the poor boys again, just slightly different boys to usual!
talliw From: talliw Date: June 2nd, 2010 07:57 pm (UTC) (Link)
That's so wonderful angsty. Thanks for reposting. I read it back then in sunset dinos' lj and loved it.
I would be happy if you would write a sequel about dark!Connor and his relationship to Lester.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: June 2nd, 2010 10:10 pm (UTC) (Link)
thanks. I hadn't got as far as thinking about a sequel, this isn't normally a pairing that I write for anything other than drabbles or ficlets. I think sooner or later Lester would try to stop it, but the problem then would be Connor finding another outlet for his pain.
knitekat From: knitekat Date: June 3rd, 2010 09:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
Meep. Dark!Connor is rather scary and the whole situation is heartwrenching and meep!
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: June 4th, 2010 03:30 pm (UTC) (Link)
thanks. Poor Lester, and poor Connor. They're both pretty messed up if they've let the situation get that far.
aunteeneenah From: aunteeneenah Date: October 11th, 2014 10:58 pm (UTC) (Link)
OMG! That is intense and so, so very heartbreakingly sad. Don't really know how I missed this for so long but I decided to go looking for Connor fic and found this and it broke my heart. **hugs both Connor and Lester** They are both so broken, especially, Connor.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: October 12th, 2014 12:58 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks! It's always nice when you go hunting for fic and find one from the archives that you haven't read before. Poor boys, they're both a little bit broken to have let it get so far, but especially Connor.
36 comments or Leave a comment