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ficlet: Denial

Another from the ficlet prompts. These little buggers are getting longer every time I write one, it's a good thing I didn't specify they would be drabbles! This one's for sunsets_dinos , who keeps pokingencouraging me to play with this pairing (not that I actually need much encouragement...).

Title: Denial
Author: Athene
Fandom: Primeval
Characters: Helen/Connor
Rating: 18                    
Warnings: language
Spoilers: none
Word count: 230
Disclaimer: Not mine. ITV and Impossible Pictures own them.
AN: written for sunsets_dinos with the prompt ‘need’.
AN2: Fits into the same ficverse as ‘Twisted Together’ and ‘Human Weakness’


          It hurts. Everything is too cold but burning, too bright even in the darkness, too sharp and yet frighteningly numb.

            “Helen. I need you to hang on, okay? I need you to stay with me.”

            Somehow her mind twists the voice into a Scottish accent. When she can bear to open her eyes for a moment, she sees young blue eyes looking back at her. Worried, caring blue eyes.

            She thinks later she might have called out their names from the depths of a fever, but she’ll deny to her last breath that she needs anyone. Not now, not ever.     

            “Come on, Helen. You’re stronger than this. All those years alone, you can’t die from a snake bite now.”

            It hurts, though.

            “Please, Helen.”

Sometimes she isn’t sure whether she wants to hold onto that voice, or whether she just wants him to shut the fuck up and let her fall into oblivion.

“I need you.”

            In the end, those are the words that make her fight. The words she waited eight years to hear.

            When she finally wakes, though, the eyes watching her are dark, the voice soothing her is not Scottish. And while Connor’s expression is full of caring and worry, he can never be the student that she wanted.

             Helen turns away from his relieved smile. She doesn’t want to need anyone.

            Especially not Connor.


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30 comments or Leave a comment
lukadreaming From: lukadreaming Date: April 26th, 2010 08:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
Erk! I do rather like this pairing -- lots and lots of nicely twisted possibilities *g*.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: April 26th, 2010 08:47 pm (UTC) (Link)
it's very wrong and twisted, and I can't stop myself from poking it occasionally *evil grin*
sunsets_dinos From: sunsets_dinos Date: April 26th, 2010 08:35 pm (UTC) (Link)
I love you! OMG this is brilliant!!!! Oh the angst and Connor, darling, so worried for Helen, oh this totally made my day! THANK YOU! *hugs tight*
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: April 26th, 2010 08:49 pm (UTC) (Link)
hee, glad you liked. I do rather like this pairing, if I'm not careful I'm going to have to come up with a proper plot for this little set of ficlets. In the meantime, though, it's great for angst!
fredbassett From: fredbassett Date: April 26th, 2010 08:41 pm (UTC) (Link)
I think this pairing had huge potential, and this proves it!
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: April 26th, 2010 08:50 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm becoming more and more fond of this pairing, it's just so broken and twisted and full of angst.
bella_farfalla From: bella_farfalla Date: April 26th, 2010 08:44 pm (UTC) (Link)
This is brilliant, so very Helen and really vivid.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: April 26th, 2010 08:52 pm (UTC) (Link)
thanks, Helen is just such in intriguing character, I like playing with her strengths and vulnerabilities.
telperion_15 From: telperion_15 Date: April 26th, 2010 08:56 pm (UTC) (Link)
*meeps* These two do make a delightfully twisted pairing - lots of interesting possibilities!
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: April 26th, 2010 09:20 pm (UTC) (Link)
Helen is very independent, while Connor can be a wee bit clingy at times. They'd hate each other so much, and yet in this situation they need each other. Cue much angst *evil grin*
fififolle From: fififolle Date: April 26th, 2010 09:11 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh dear! I feel so sorry for Connor. *meep*
Reads like a knife twisting in my heart...
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: April 26th, 2010 09:21 pm (UTC) (Link)
hee, excellent! Poor Connor, he tries his best, takes care of her while she's sick, and Helen still won't give him a break.
jaynedoll From: jaynedoll Date: April 26th, 2010 09:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
I think this is a very under-used pairing with some great possibilities.
And although I feel sorry for Connor, I also feel sorry for Helen too. *because I'm just a bit strange like that*

I think it's because I've just been watching Juliet Aubrey in Five Daughters and thinking she has the most wonderfully expressive eyes.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: April 27th, 2010 07:20 am (UTC) (Link)
I do like this pairing, it's great for exploring a truly wrong and broken relationship. I think Helen did respect Connor a little by the end of 3.10, and no matter how much he thinks he hates her, I think Connor can't stop himself from caring about people, even Helen.

I watched the first part of Five daughters but missed last night's, I might catch up on the i-player tonight.
knitekat From: knitekat Date: April 26th, 2010 10:53 pm (UTC) (Link)
Wrong and twisted but I do like Helen and Connor together.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: April 27th, 2010 07:22 am (UTC) (Link)
yep, wrong and twisted pretty much covers it with these two.
bigtitch From: bigtitch Date: April 27th, 2010 08:57 am (UTC) (Link)
That's nicely twisted. HELEN! is a really interesting character.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: April 27th, 2010 06:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
dark, wrong and angsty relationships ftw!
reggietate From: reggietate Date: April 27th, 2010 03:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
This almost makes me feel sorry for Helen :-)
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: April 27th, 2010 06:11 pm (UTC) (Link)
sometimes even Helen needs someone to look after her (no matter how much she doesn't want to admit it).
nietie From: nietie Date: April 27th, 2010 03:54 pm (UTC) (Link)
Eek! I feel sorry for Connor he can never be the student that she wanted
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: April 27th, 2010 06:20 pm (UTC) (Link)
Poor Connor, he didn't really want Helen as a teacher either, but they're stuck together.
prehistoriccat From: prehistoriccat Date: April 27th, 2010 05:49 pm (UTC) (Link)
I love this pairing more and more, although you already know my thoughts on the relationship (I'm almost half contemplating doing a sequel to Mother's Day)

deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: April 27th, 2010 06:21 pm (UTC) (Link)
I do like poking this pairing occasionally and seeing what bad and wrong angstiness might happen next!
canadian_jay From: canadian_jay Date: April 27th, 2010 07:18 pm (UTC) (Link)
Eek! This pairing is always a touch scary. But great fic!
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: April 27th, 2010 08:39 pm (UTC) (Link)
hee, thanks. This pairing is fascinating (in a scary and twisted way, of course).
talliw From: talliw Date: April 30th, 2010 07:38 pm (UTC) (Link)
Wonderful ficlet. Connor has a snowball chance in hell to live up to Helen's expectations. He never can replace Nick or Stephen. But still he hopes.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: April 30th, 2010 09:04 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks. Poor Connor, for Helen he will always be the lesser substitute for the men she really wanted, no matter how hard he tries.
lsellersfic From: lsellersfic Date: April 24th, 2012 06:06 pm (UTC) (Link)
Great dynamics again! A shame this never got explored further!
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: April 24th, 2012 07:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
thanks. I do have a worrying fascination with this pairing.
30 comments or Leave a comment