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drabble: Existence - athene
deinonychus_1
deinonychus_1
drabble: Existence

written for the Primeval 100 challenge 109 - First Time

Title: Existence
Author: Athene
Fandom: Primeval
Characters: Clone, Nick, Helen
Rating: PG                    
Warnings: None
Spoilers: very big spoilers for 3.3
Challenge: first time
Word count: 100
Disclaimer: Not mine. ITV and Impossible Pictures own them.

 

            At first there was only eating, resting, and the commands of the creator. It knew nothing of fear, desire, love or hate.

The first time it looked into the eyes of its double, it experienced something new. It felt a connection with another living being.

The first time it was spoken to as if it were a person, not merely a thing, it felt a sense of self.

The first time it made a decision of its own free will, it understood why the creator feared this.

            The first time it really lived was in the moment before it died.

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33 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
reggietate From: reggietate Date: June 5th, 2009 07:44 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh, that's brilliant, and so terribly sad *huggles not!nick*
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: June 5th, 2009 07:51 pm (UTC) (Link)
thanks, I had this idea almost straight away as soon as I saw the challenge, but it took ages to beat it down to 100 words. I'm glad I persisted with it now.
alyse From: alyse Date: June 5th, 2009 07:48 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh, that's just perfect and yet really, really sad.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: June 5th, 2009 07:55 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks. The Nick!clone seemed a perfect subject for the 'first time' prompt. That little bit of free will that it had in the last moments, it makes you wonder what it could have achieved if it had survived for longer.
fififolle From: fififolle Date: June 5th, 2009 07:54 pm (UTC) (Link)
OH!! That! Oh! No! EEP. :(
Brilliant. *sniff*
*flaps uselessly*
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: June 5th, 2009 07:58 pm (UTC) (Link)
*passes tissues* Poor clone, it had such a short life, and yet it did seem to be experiencing something new in its last moments.
knitekat From: knitekat Date: June 5th, 2009 09:40 pm (UTC) (Link)
Lovely and yet sad.. hugs CloneNick
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: June 5th, 2009 09:53 pm (UTC) (Link)
thanks. Clones need love and hugs too.
lukadreaming From: lukadreaming Date: June 5th, 2009 10:11 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh wow. Awesome drabble.

*Snivels a little*
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: June 5th, 2009 10:20 pm (UTC) (Link)
*passes more tissues* Poor clone, it really didn't get much chance to be happy, or experience much of anything in its short life.
madscribbles From: madscribbles Date: June 5th, 2009 10:45 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh, ow! *whimpers*
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: June 5th, 2009 10:55 pm (UTC) (Link)
*pets Fakey* In a change from the usual Connor!breakage, I bring you clone!breakage instead. I love your icon, btw. There so needs to be more Nick-and-clone!Nick fics.
nietie From: nietie Date: June 6th, 2009 09:08 am (UTC) (Link)
Wow! A lot of intense first times.
But the last one. Ouch, so sad.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: June 6th, 2009 09:20 am (UTC) (Link)
thanks. The clone went through a lot in it's short life, and I get the feeling that it learnt more from Nick in those few brief scenes than Helen ever gave it credit for.
sunsets_dinos From: sunsets_dinos Date: June 6th, 2009 09:10 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh god this is gorgeous!!!! I love the idea of such a connection between Nick and his clone. It's very painful how you always use "it", I love it! And of course the last line is made of awesome!!!
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: June 6th, 2009 09:23 am (UTC) (Link)
Thanks. Nick did seem to be trying to make a connection with the clone as he talked to it, and at the end it seemed as if he had managed to somehow awaken a spark of humanity and independence in the clone, however brief. Poor clone, it deserved the chance to live.
fredbassett From: fredbassett Date: June 6th, 2009 12:00 pm (UTC) (Link)
That was bloody brilliant!

I feel hugely protective of the poor clone.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: June 6th, 2009 12:23 pm (UTC) (Link)
the poor clone got a really horrible deal, didn't it? At least Nick showed it some understanding and compassion, even knowing what it represented.
kristen_mara From: kristen_mara Date: June 6th, 2009 01:36 pm (UTC) (Link)

Perfect use of the clone and of 100 words to capture the clone's experiences.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: June 6th, 2009 01:44 pm (UTC) (Link)
thanks. It was a hell of a job to edit this down to 100 words, there was so much to say about the clone and how Helen had treated it compared with Nick's reaction to it. I'm glad the final draft worked
telperion_15 From: telperion_15 Date: June 6th, 2009 04:13 pm (UTC) (Link)
Wow, this is brilliant! That last line is really powerful. Poor clone...
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: June 6th, 2009 04:37 pm (UTC) (Link)
Guess I hit the nail on the head with this drabble, especially the last line. It's nice when that happens. Poor clone, the one person who treated it with respect and humanity was the one person who should have wanted to destroy it the most.
aelfgyfu_mead From: aelfgyfu_mead Date: June 6th, 2009 05:26 pm (UTC) (Link)
Very true, but very sad.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: June 6th, 2009 06:13 pm (UTC) (Link)
thanks. Poor clone.
cordeliadelayne From: cordeliadelayne Date: June 6th, 2009 07:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
Ooh, very clever use of the prompt.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: June 6th, 2009 08:00 pm (UTC) (Link)
thanks. I wanted to do something different to the obvious. Although i might still write an obvious 'first time' drabble for Connnor and Abby by the end of the weekend.
cyberawr From: cyberawr Date: June 7th, 2009 05:15 pm (UTC) (Link)
Nice. Very nice. :)
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: June 7th, 2009 06:40 pm (UTC) (Link)
thanks. glad you liked.
33 comments or Leave a comment