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fanfic: Secrets and Lies - athene
fanfic: Secrets and Lies

Title: Secrets and Lies
Author: Athene
Fandom: Primeval
Pairing/characters: Connor/Becker (Connor/Nick implied)
Rating: 18
Warnings: Language, smut, implied violent sex.
Spoilers: 1.6, I suppose
Disclaimer: Not mine. ITV and Impossible Pictures own them.
Word count: approx 1500
Summary: A brief encounter leads to a discovery.
AN: (follows on from The Substitute, NeedThe New Order and The Next Roll of the Dice)



            Becker had barely kicked the storeroom door closed when Connor shoved him against the wall and forced his tongue into Becker’s mouth. Becker was aware of hands pushing, pulling, positioning him just how Connor wanted him, and Becker let himself be manoeuvred. He was already hard as hell, but he knew how this was going to go, how he was going to be on his knees for Connor any minute now, regardless of his own needs.

He had known it was going to be like this, because he also knew that Connor had spent the previous night with Cutter.

            Becker hadn’t expected anything more after their second encounter that time with the stegosaurus, but the following day Connor had cornered him in the locker room, and after several minutes of confused, angry tussling they had both ended up sprawled in the corner together, sticky and gasping for air.

            For the next two weeks their strange liaison had continued like that; stolen moments in seldom used storerooms, or hiding behind trees or buildings on particularly uneventful anomaly field operations. Two weeks in which Becker had learned the rules well. He had observed carefully and assimilated and analysed all the available information. He had seen how Connor was almost constantly skittish at work, how he spent most of each day watching Cutter, and how Connor’s mood fluctuated in accordance with how Cutter’s day was progressing.

Becker had also learned to spot the nights when Connor slept with Cutter. He came to recognise the look of resigned trepidation on Connor’s face as he left the ARC, two, three, sometimes more times a week. And he learned from experience that after the nights with Cutter, those were the days when Connor came to Becker. Those were the days when Connor demanded everything and Becker let him take it.

Days like today.

            He felt Connor’s hands on his shoulders insistently pushing him down, and Becker sank to his knees. Within moments Connor’s trousers were open and Becker took the young man’s cock in his mouth. They didn’t talk when it was like this. Other times, yes, but not when Connor seemed intent on finding oblivion as hard and as fast as possible.

            As ever, it didn’t take long. When Connor started to thrust into his mouth, all Becker could do was brace himself and try not to gag or choke until Connor was finished. When it was over, Connor staggered slightly and collapsed to his knees in front of Becker, and after a few moments to catch his breath he slipped his hand inside Becker’s trousers and with a few quick, hard strokes he jerked him off. It was like everything else in their relationship – hard, fast and dirty. Becker had almost given up hope of it being anything else. Then, unexpectedly, Connor’s head dropped to rest on Becker’s shoulder. Becker was startled for a moment; it seemed surprisingly intimate compared with their usual encounters. He tentatively slipped his arms around Connor’s body and held him, feeling the movement of Connor’s ribs as he breathed deeply.

            “Come back to my place tonight,” Becker said. He had made the offer two or three times already on previous occasions, but Connor always refused.

            “What makes you think that I’d want to?” Connor’s voice just sounded tired, and for once there wasn’t the derision that normally came when Becker asked for more.

            Becker hesitated before he spoke.

“Because whatever Cutter does for you, it obviously isn’t enough.”

            Connor abruptly pulled back and glared at Becker, his eyes full of anger.


            “Did you think I hadn’t noticed? Did you think I hadn’t figured it out? I know you’re sleeping with Cutter most nights, and grabbing a quickie with me most days. I take it Cutter doesn’t know?”

            Connor shoved him away and tried to stand up, but Becker held on and stopped him.

            “I don’t actually care, Connor. And I’m not going to tell him I’m your bit on the side. But I am intrigued to know why you’re cheating on him; I never thought you’d be that kind of guy. Especially not after what Stephen did to him.”

            Connor’s fist came out of nowhere. Becker saw the punch at the last second and deflected most of it, but his cheek stung from the blow.

            “Fuck you. You don’t have a fucking clue,” Connor snarled. This time he did stand up, but Becker moved quickly and grabbed his wrist. Becker heard another hiss of pain but he ignored it and with a quick movement he pulled Connor to the ground and twisted until he was sitting on top of the younger man. Connor fought back hard, but he was no match for the trained soldier and in a moment Becker had him pinned down.

            “I think I hit a nerve,” Becker said with a slight smile.

            Connor just glared at him.

            “Is that why you won’t come to my place? Too much like a real affair? As long as it’s just a quickie in a dark corner that’s fine, though, that’s not really cheating. That’s just a bit of fun.”

            “Get off me.”

            “Not until you give me a straight answer.”

            “I’m not cheating on him. That would imply that I’m actually having a relationship with him.” Connor’s tone was sullen, and he was no longer meeting Becker’s eye.

            “So what do you have?”

            “Sex.” Connor hesitated. “Comfort sex, I suppose.”

            “Well, forgive me for saying so, but you don’t look very comforted whenever I see you the day after.”

            Connor didn’t reply. His head was turned away and he was very deliberately not looking at Becker any more.

            Becker leaned over Connor, so close his breath ruffled Connor’s hair. “What have I got that Cutter hasn’t?” he asked quietly.

            “Get off me, now.”

            “I’m a highly trained soldier, you know. I have ways of making you talk.” Becker smirked and glanced down to where Connor’s trousers were still hanging open. “No one can resist the tickle attack.”

            He slid his hands under Connor’s shirt and t-shirt and, ignoring Connor’s desperately flailing hands, he shoved the clothing up to expose Connor’s chest.

            And stopped dead.

            “Jesus fucking Christ, Connor.”

            Connor became utterly still beneath him, still not meeting his eye.

            Becker could only stare, speechless, as he took in the bruises and small, crescent shaped gouges that were spread across the young man’s chest and sides, mostly clustering just above his hips.

            “Get off me,” Connor said again, and this time Becker heard the tiny shake in his voice.

            Becker rocked back and stood up, still staring. Connor slowly got to his feet, pulled his shirt back down and tucked it in and started to straighten himself out again.

            “If you say a word to anyone, I’ll tell them that you did it.”

            It came out sounding simply like a statement of fact, not the threat that it was. Becker contemplated that for a second. Connor had unknowingly just confirmed what Becker had been almost certain of – he recognised marks left by human hands when he saw them.

            “Was it Cutter? Is this what he does to you? Why? Why do you let him?”

            “Because I don’t have a choice,” Connor snapped. He zipped his trousers closed and glanced up, and Becker saw a hard fury in his eyes. “I mean it Becker. You tell anyone, and I’ll make sure that everyone who matters believes that you did this. Who do you think they’re going to believe? Poor, vulnerable, grieving little Connor, or the big tough new boy?”

            Becker felt himself nodding before any real conscious thought entered his head about the fact that he was being blackmailed with a potential assault and rape charge. He glanced down and quickly tidied himself up and rearranged his clothes. When he looked up again Connor was opening the door. Becker darted over and shut it before he could leave.

            “There’s always a choice, Connor.”

            “Fuck off.”

            “Come to my place. Tonight.”

            “Why?” Connor sounded suspicious, but not as openly hostile to the idea as he had been earlier. Becker wondered if the primary reason for his repeated refusals over the last week had been because of what he had been trying to hide.

            “Because we both know that what you really want is to shag me senseless, and that is not going to happen on duty. I don’t care what you try to threaten me with, there are some thing that I will not let happen at work.”

            Connor seemed to be contemplating that for a few moments. To be honest, Becker didn’t really think that Connor would agree, even now, so he was surprised when Connor nodded.

            “Fine. Your place. Tonight.”

            It was only when Connor had slipped out of the storeroom and left him alone that Becker started to wonder exactly what he had just got himself into.


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50 comments or Leave a comment
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reggietate From: reggietate Date: April 9th, 2009 10:41 pm (UTC) (Link)
OMG-angst!And abused!Connor... please let Becker stop Cutter from hurting him, or it's going to end badly for everyone *g*
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: April 9th, 2009 10:57 pm (UTC) (Link)
To say that this series started out as a one-shot pwp, it developed a hell of a lot of angst and plot very quickly. *sigh*

please let Becker stop Cutter from hurting him, or it's going to end badly for everyone *g*

Erm... *looks shifty*
(Deleted comment)
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: April 9th, 2009 11:00 pm (UTC) (Link)
Meep indeed. This was supposed to be a series of short Connor/Becker angry smut scenes, but all this sodding angst muscled its way in when I wasn't looking. And the damn things are getting longer with every part. Never fear, though - part 4 has more smut and (slightly) less angst.

*glares at the bunnies*

Edited at 2009-04-09 11:01 pm (UTC)
(Deleted comment)
lukadreaming From: lukadreaming Date: April 9th, 2009 11:30 pm (UTC) (Link)
Eek! That's fabulously dirty and angsty and screwed up!
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: April 9th, 2009 11:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
*evil grin* It is rather angsty and screwed up, isn't it? Clearly I can't be trusted to write angst-free pwp.
sunsetdawn20 From: sunsetdawn20 Date: April 9th, 2009 11:46 pm (UTC) (Link)
OMG I love this series so very much!!! Who knew I'd fall for Becker/Connor? Wow... I love Becker's determination and the mixture of strength and vulnerability in Connor.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: April 9th, 2009 11:58 pm (UTC) (Link)
cool, thanks. I'm kind of surprised that I'm writing Connor/Becker, to be honest. I only started it as a one-shot pwp because Thefakebook had been muttering and squeeing about slashing the new boy. Then I suddenly realised that the first part of Connor/Becker fitted perfectly into the same ficverse as the angsty Connor/Nick stuff, and suddenly there was plot! Damn bunnies.

edited for epic spelling fail

Edited at 2009-04-10 12:00 am (UTC)
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jaynedoll From: jaynedoll Date: April 10th, 2009 08:36 am (UTC) (Link)
I like this too. In fact I like Becker a lot better in this than I do in the series (where they don't seem to have given him much of a personality) and I love the way Connor goes to Becker after Cutter.
And angst is ALWAYS good especially when it comes with a side order of hot sex between gorgeous men.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: April 10th, 2009 08:43 am (UTC) (Link)
Tnaks, glad you like it. I keep wondering if I'm getting Becker right, precisely because we've not really seen him do or say an awful lot so far. Fingers crossed he doesn't turn out to be *too* OOC by the time we've seen more eps.
telperion_15 From: telperion_15 Date: April 10th, 2009 10:19 am (UTC) (Link)
OMG, I think I might actually love you or something...

Angsty!Connor, and worried!Becker, and scary!Cutter, and it's all just wonderful!!!!!!!

Seriously, feeling the love here! *g*
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: April 10th, 2009 10:32 am (UTC) (Link)
awww, thanks *huggles*

Seriously, I was worried what you'd think about this series considering what I'm doing to your signature pairing. I know you get a bit protective of the boys sometimes *grin*

And I'm sure Cutter isn't 'scary', as such, just very, very messed up. But possibly not as messed up as Connor. *pets the boys and backs away slowly*
bigtitch From: bigtitch Date: April 10th, 2009 02:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
That's lovely. Great dark twist to it.
Poor abused!Connor!
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: April 10th, 2009 02:32 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yep, dark, twisted and angsty about covers it for this mini-series. They're all just too pretty when they're broken (especially Connor).
nietie From: nietie Date: April 10th, 2009 04:19 pm (UTC) (Link)
Awww, I feel sorry for all three of them.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: April 10th, 2009 04:27 pm (UTC) (Link)
thanks. They are all a bit screwed up, and it's all getting very messy.
missyvortexdv From: missyvortexdv Date: April 10th, 2009 04:31 pm (UTC) (Link)
Soo much turmoil, can't wait for more.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: April 10th, 2009 04:35 pm (UTC) (Link)
thanks. I am putting the boys through the wringer a bit with this one. There will be more soon.
verito295 From: verito295 Date: April 10th, 2009 05:35 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hmmm lovely lovely yummy angst!
Connor is just *so* pretty when he's broken and even more so when he pretends he's not and keeps going!
Can't wait for the next chapter!
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: April 10th, 2009 05:55 pm (UTC) (Link)
Connor is just *so* pretty when he's broken and even more so when he pretends he's not and keeps going!

That is pretty much my happiest of happy places when it comes to broken!Connor.

Glad to know you're enjoying it. I was hoping to post the next part today but it doesn't look likely at this point. Part four will definitely be up by the end of the weekend, though.
fredbassett From: fredbassett Date: April 11th, 2009 12:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
Great series! So, what's young Connor got himself into? And what's Cutter playing at?
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: April 11th, 2009 12:21 pm (UTC) (Link)
more will be revealed in the next couple of parts...
fififolle From: fififolle Date: April 18th, 2009 08:53 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh god! Connor, you need to let Becker help! *wibble* I love this but I wish it wasn't quite so angsty...
Becker is pretty cool.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: April 18th, 2009 09:28 am (UTC) (Link)
*evil grin* I'm really starting to like Becker the more I see of him, which has made writing this so much more fun.

I wish it wasn't quite so angsty...

I don't believe you in the slightest. You love the angst really.
mysteriousaliwz From: mysteriousaliwz Date: April 19th, 2009 05:55 pm (UTC) (Link)
Meep! Poor boys :(
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: April 19th, 2009 06:04 pm (UTC) (Link)
yep. and the 'meep' just keeps coming...
sadera992 From: sadera992 Date: April 20th, 2009 05:32 pm (UTC) (Link)
i knew i must have missed a chapter - oops!

becker finding the bruises was just shocking. and connor's reaction - omg. the very idea of him threatening to blame becker is frightening. awesomely angsty series.

i need my brain back from you for school work, could i possibly have it please?? XD
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: April 20th, 2009 06:52 pm (UTC) (Link)
the very idea of him threatening to blame becker is frightening

Connor was panicking at his secret being found out, and even after what Cutter's done to him he still wants to protect Cutter above all else. Poor lad is definitely very angry and angsty about a lot of things.

i need my brain back from you for school work, could i possibly have it please?? XD

Oops! *returns brain*!
knitekat From: knitekat Date: August 25th, 2009 10:23 pm (UTC) (Link)
Meep, poor Connor and poor Becker. Twacks Nick, no matter how bad he is hurting, he shouldn't tak eit out on Connor.
And I see what you mean about breaking Connor!
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: August 25th, 2009 11:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
It's hard to work out which one of them is the most messed up in this situation. They're all hurting and taking it out on whoever happens to get in the way. But now Connor's caught between two people who both want him for different reasons. It can only get more broken...
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