?

Log in

No account? Create an account
entries friends calendar profile Previous Previous Next Next
Fanfic: Keep Your Shirt On! - athene
deinonychus_1
deinonychus_1
Fanfic: Keep Your Shirt On!


Title: Keep Your Shirt On!
Author: Athene
Fandom: Primeval
Pairing/characters: Ryan, Stephen, Cutter
Rating: 12
Warnings: Implied smut, but no *actual* smut happens!
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: Not mine. ITV and Impossible Pictures own them.
Word count: approx 635
Summary: The duty managers are up to something again in Sanctuary
AN: A Sanctuary fic. Sanctuary was created by mysteriousaliwz. Written as a result of a discussion in today’s Denial Sunday chat about favourite (or least favourite) body parts. Thanks to everyone who took part in said discussion. I’ve tried to include as many body related fetishes (or anti-fetishes) as I could!




“Ryan, have you seen my shirts?”

Ryan popped his head round the bedroom door and saw Stephen half dressed, but entirely shirtless, and looking slightly confused.

“I was wondering the same thing about mine. They’ve all vanished. And all my trousers have suddenly gone really tight, especially round the arse.”

Stephen nodded. “Mine too. Either that, or they’re practically falling off my hips.”

Ryan paused a moment and then said speculatively, “Management?”

“Yes?”

“Is there a reason why all our shirts have disappeared?”

“Um... yes?”

Ryan rolled his eyes, and caught Stephen doing the same thing. Now it all made sense. For a Sanctuary definition of sense.

“Should I assume you’d like us to be shirtless for the day?”

“If you wouldn’t mind, please.” The duty manager sounded quite hopeful. “We’ve turned the thermostat up so you don’t get cold.”

Ryan gave Stephen an amused glance. To be fair, it wasn’t the oddest thing that management had ever asked them to do.

Cutter suddenly appeared at Ryan’s side.

“I’ve still got all my shirts, if you’d like to borrow one.”

Okay, now things were getting odd.

“And I found this note pinned up in the corridor by the front door.”

Ryan took the note and Stephen wandered across to read it over his shoulder.

“‘If Connor visits he should take his shirt off, as long as he doesn’t raise his arms above his head.’ What?

There was no response from the duty manager.

“‘If Becker visits he should take his shirt off and be sent to the showers with shampoo, conditioner, and a hair dryer, and make sure George is thoroughly groomed.’” Stephen’s voice was becoming ever more incredulous as he read out loud. “I know the man is a bit fussy about his hair, but that’s ridiculous!”

Ryan frowned slightly.

“Who the hell is Geor- you know what? Never mind.”

“‘If possible, Becker should also be encouraged to wander around barefoot and wearing just his jeans and looking damp.’” Stephen continued to read aloud. He aimed his gaze skywards. “Why aren’t the rest of us ‘encouraged’ to walk around damp and half naked? That’s blatant favouritism!”

“We certainly wouldn’t object if you wanted to...” the duty manager mumbled, sounding shifty.

Cutter was frowning as well, but for a different reason, it turned out.

“Well, on the subject of favouritism, I’m not sure whether I should feel pleased or insulted that everyone else has to be shirtless except me.”

Stephen patted his shoulder. “I like your chest.”

“I think the duty manager who’s coming in later likes his chest as well,” the duty manager said, with a vaguely placatory tone of voice this time. “Especially the pudgy bits and freckles.”

Cutter spluttered something while Ryan and Stephen laughed, and Stephen patted his shoulder again.

“Never mind. Sounds like your clothes will be disappearing later as well, then.”

Cutter wandered off towards the kitchen, mumbling particularly Scottish sounding curses under this breath.

“So, what now?” Stephen said, his eyes roaming appreciatively up and down Ryan’s chest.

“Well, they’ve obviously got something planned, so in the meantime we could just keep them occupied with business as usual...”

There was the sound of the duty manger clearing her throat.

“What?” Ryan asked, trying not to sound too impatient.

“Business as usual is great, as long as there’s no...” There was the sound of paper rustling, “... toe sucking, armpit licking, or ear licking. Except until the shift change at five. Ear licking is fine after that.”

Ryan shared a look with Stephen that conveyed just how bemused they both were with this latest development.

“So, straightforward cocks up arses, then?” Stephen suggested, his eyebrows raised speculatively.

Ryan grinned. “Sounds good to me. Best be quick as well, before one of them develops another weird fetish.”



Tags: , , , , ,
Current Mood: amused amused

50 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
Page 1 of 2
[1] [2]
(Deleted comment)
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: March 18th, 2012 07:44 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hee, thanks. I got bunnied from the discussion and it wouldn't leave me alone, I had to write it!
lukadreaming From: lukadreaming Date: March 18th, 2012 04:54 pm (UTC) (Link)
ROFL! That's brilliant!
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: March 18th, 2012 07:45 pm (UTC) (Link)
hee, it had to be done!
telperion_15 From: telperion_15 Date: March 18th, 2012 05:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
LOL! Those poor boys do have to put up with a lot, don't they? ;)
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: March 18th, 2012 07:47 pm (UTC) (Link)
They do, poor lads. They don't seem to be protesting *too* strenuously, though.
knitekat From: knitekat Date: March 18th, 2012 05:59 pm (UTC) (Link)
LOL. Just love the way the boys accept everything Sanctuary has to throw at them.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: March 18th, 2012 07:49 pm (UTC) (Link)
They do seem to have developed a rather long-suffering attitude about the whole thing.
reggietate From: reggietate Date: March 18th, 2012 06:01 pm (UTC) (Link)
*giggles helplessly*

I've been out today, so I've just been catching up with Sunday Chat - it amuses me no end that nuzzling armpits is considered eww! when so many of us are enthusiastic about the blokes putting their tongues up other blokes arses! :-D
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: March 18th, 2012 07:51 pm (UTC) (Link)
Lol, it's a good point. No one ever said fetishes had to make sense!

It's a shame you werent in the discussion, then Nick's shirts might have disappeared as well!
inamac From: inamac Date: March 18th, 2012 06:40 pm (UTC) (Link)
Note to self: do not read Sanctuary fic while drinking wine. Not that it's a particularly good wine...

And I think Lester should keep his shirt on too. And a tie. But no shoes. And I may pop in later and distribute corsets...
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: March 18th, 2012 07:53 pm (UTC) (Link)
Lol, I think Sanctuary fics should come with a potential drinks-sporfling warning as mandatory!
fredbassett From: fredbassett Date: March 18th, 2012 06:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
“Business as usual is great, as long as there’s no...” There was the sound of paper rustling, “... toe sucking, armpit licking, or ear licking. Except until the shift change at five. Ear licking is fine after that.”

I just howled laughing and ready that but aloud, to much eye-rolling from Mr FB.

We haven't had Sanctuary fic for ages, and this was great!!
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: March 18th, 2012 07:57 pm (UTC) (Link)
Heehee, thanks. I couldn't help it after the discussion today, it had to be done!

I checked the sanctuary tag after I'd posted, and was surprised by how long it had been since the last one.
fififolle From: fififolle Date: March 18th, 2012 06:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
*laughs like a drain*
OMG! Priceless. Poor Cutter, left with all his shirts, and Connor not to sho his armpits, hahahaha! And the list of exclusions is too much *howls*
Wonderful!!!
:DD
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: March 18th, 2012 08:00 pm (UTC) (Link)
We really are an odd bunch with all our likes and dislikes, but it had to be done! I'm just disappointed I didn't manage to get them *all* in!
mysteriousaliwz From: mysteriousaliwz Date: March 18th, 2012 06:48 pm (UTC) (Link)
*sporfles helplessly*

Aww, poor Cutter and his underappreciated pudgy freckly bits!

Now it all made sense. For a Sanctuary definition of sense.
I wonder why it hadn't occurred to us to make their trousers tighter before now?
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: March 18th, 2012 08:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
Poor Cutter, he does seem to be a little underappreciated when there's Stephen and Ryan around. Is it a bad sign when there are more instructions about people who don't even live there than for the Sanctuary occupants themselves, lol!

I know! Wardrobe manipulation should be happening on a far more regular basis!
freddiejoey From: freddiejoey Date: March 18th, 2012 07:28 pm (UTC) (Link)
I laughed till I cried....

Wonderful
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: March 18th, 2012 08:10 pm (UTC) (Link)
lol, thanks, glad you enjoyed it. It had to be done after today's discussion in chat!
judithjohn From: judithjohn Date: March 18th, 2012 07:42 pm (UTC) (Link)
This is just bloody funny -and hot imagining those bare bodies.....
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: March 18th, 2012 08:11 pm (UTC) (Link)
thanks, glad you enjoyed it. I think Management should steal there clothes far more often, to be honest!
flaccidduck From: flaccidduck Date: March 18th, 2012 07:46 pm (UTC) (Link)
Just fabulously funny!
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: March 18th, 2012 08:12 pm (UTC) (Link)
hee, thanks, glad you liked it.
bigtitch From: bigtitch Date: March 18th, 2012 08:39 pm (UTC) (Link)
ROTFLMAO!!!!

Poor things they must get so confused with us!
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: March 18th, 2012 08:46 pm (UTC) (Link)
They seem to have got used to it, bless them. They've certainly developed a rather accepting attitude towards the whole thing!
kristen_mara From: kristen_mara Date: March 18th, 2012 10:55 pm (UTC) (Link)

*falling about howling* Lovely summing up of what revs us up *G*

I love how George gets special consideration! (And quite rightly too.) Poor Cutter and his unappreciated (until Reggie has her shift) love handles...

And Connor's armpits have suddenly become public enemy number one, like Danny's *cough* you-know-what.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: March 19th, 2012 08:32 pm (UTC) (Link)
hee, thanks! George probably has entire shelf in the bathroom for all his hair-care products. He'll be the best groomed little possum ever! (all the better for us to dive in and nuzzle - unless you happen to have an aversion to chest fuzz nuzzling, of course!)
joshinator From: joshinator Date: March 18th, 2012 10:56 pm (UTC) (Link)
I've read the conversation now and read this and it gets funnier all the time.

Great job!
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: March 19th, 2012 08:34 pm (UTC) (Link)
thanks, glad to hear you enjoyed it. The conversation in Denial was such fun, and the bunny just pounced on me.
50 comments or Leave a comment
Page 1 of 2
[1] [2]