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drabble: Defenceless - athene
deinonychus_1
deinonychus_1
drabble: Defenceless


Written for the primeval100 challenge 251 - Sticks and Stones


Title: Defenceless
Author: Athene
Fandom: Primeval
Characters: Becker
Rating: PG
Warnings: None
Spoilers: None
Challenge: 251 – Sticks and Stones
Word count: 100
Disclaimer: Not mine. ITV and Impossible Pictures own them.



Becker bit back a hiss of pain and stretched his arm further. The broken stick was still just out of reach.

He collapsed back, and stones clattered down the slope around him in yet another mini rock fall.

Damn it! He wasn’t going to die like this, helpless and alone on a bloody mountainside in the Permian. He caught himself wishing for his gun, but that was pointless. It was his own stupid fault for dropping it when he fell.

Without a weapon he felt defenceless.

Becker ignored the pain in his trapped leg, and reached for the stick again.




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36 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
lukadreaming From: lukadreaming Date: February 29th, 2012 12:12 am (UTC) (Link)
Eek! Very neat use of the prompt.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: February 29th, 2012 07:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks, I wanted to do something a bit more literal with it.
clea2011 From: clea2011 Date: February 29th, 2012 12:15 am (UTC) (Link)
Meep! Poor Becker! Good drabble.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: February 29th, 2012 07:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
thanks. I do enjoy maiming the poor boy, he's far too pretty when he's bruised and bloodied *evil grin*
kristen_mara From: kristen_mara Date: February 29th, 2012 01:36 am (UTC) (Link)

Eeek! Very tense - poor Becker...

I see that someone is back in 'break 'em' mode *G*

deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: February 29th, 2012 07:11 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks, and lol! I'm blaming you for any Becker!breakage at the moment after your comments about me going soft! If you say things like that I tend to take it as a challenge, lol!

There was actually going to be far more breakage, and details of the fall, and how his leg is horribly broken and trapped under the rockfall, but I ran out of words and it wouldn't fit :-(
tay_21 From: tay_21 Date: February 29th, 2012 02:05 am (UTC) (Link)
OH! *MEEP* *MEEP* *MEEP!*

I hope he gets rescued. Poor Becker.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: February 29th, 2012 07:13 pm (UTC) (Link)
*evil grin* I'm sure Connor will get help and come back to rescue him. Hopefully before any hungry creatures find him first...
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deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: February 29th, 2012 07:15 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks. I'm sure he'll be okay once Connor comes back with a rescue party. If they get to him in time, of course... *evil grin*

Also, just wanted to say I love your icon! :-)
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fredbassett From: fredbassett Date: February 29th, 2012 01:53 pm (UTC) (Link)
Nice one!
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: February 29th, 2012 07:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
thanks. Bit of a last minute panic to get this one finished in time - this was the fourth attempt after the first three refused to work within 100 words.
pinkcat4569 From: pinkcat4569 Date: February 29th, 2012 09:58 pm (UTC) (Link)
I agree with everyone--nice use of the prompt, and there is something about poor, broken Becker. I enjoyed reading this very much
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: February 29th, 2012 10:24 pm (UTC) (Link)
thanks. Becker is far too tempting a target for major breakage. He just looks too pretty when he's hurt and bloodied *evil grin*
telperion_15 From: telperion_15 Date: February 29th, 2012 10:23 pm (UTC) (Link)
*whimpers*

Although I'm sure he'll be fine, right? *glares*
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: February 29th, 2012 10:26 pm (UTC) (Link)
He might be okay, if Connor gets back with the rescue party in time. If the moutain doesn't decide to throw another rock fall at him. And if nothing tries to eat him... Probably

*evil grin*
raptor_moon From: raptor_moon Date: March 1st, 2012 03:20 am (UTC) (Link)
Ow & Ow! and nicely done,
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: March 1st, 2012 08:52 pm (UTC) (Link)
thanks, I may enjoy breaking him a little too much...
nietie From: nietie Date: March 1st, 2012 09:50 am (UTC) (Link)
Broken!Becker. Mmmmm, delicious.
But poor soldier boy deserves some comfort too *g*
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: March 1st, 2012 08:54 pm (UTC) (Link)
He does look good broken and bloodied. You may have to imagine the post-trauma comfort for yourself, I'm afraid. I'm sure Connor (or Matt, or Ryan, or...) will look after him when they get him home.
fififolle From: fififolle Date: March 1st, 2012 10:33 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh no! You've hurt him!! *glee*
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: March 2nd, 2012 07:56 pm (UTC) (Link)
Lol! Everyone is worryingly gleeful about Becker being hurt and bloodied. it is a very pretty image, though
lsellersfic From: lsellersfic Date: March 3rd, 2012 09:40 am (UTC) (Link)
Meep! And clever double use of the prompt.

EDIT: Except it isn't the Cliffhanger prompt and you didn't explicitly say he fell off a cliff.

*bangs head on desk*

Shall we just pretend this is all excused by the fact that it's early on Saturday morning. Not so early that I wouldn't normally be at work by this point but still early.

Anyway. Start again.

Very tense prose, really well written!

Edited at 2012-03-03 09:42 am (UTC)
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: March 3rd, 2012 09:53 am (UTC) (Link)
lol, thanks. To be fair, it took about four attempts to write this drabble, and in one of the earlier versions he *was* hanging off a cliff (which is actually where the idea for this week's prompt came from). So it might also have worked for this week's prompt as well!

*sends coffee because it is too early for a Saturday*
cordeliadelayne From: cordeliadelayne Date: March 6th, 2012 03:38 pm (UTC) (Link)
Ooh, eek, poor Becker!
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: March 6th, 2012 07:50 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hee, thanks. He's so wonderfully breakable, poor boy.
ebonyfeather From: ebonyfeather Date: March 9th, 2012 02:54 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh no- poor Becker!
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: March 9th, 2012 06:19 pm (UTC) (Link)
He's just whumpable for his own good *evil grin*. Is 'whumpable' a real word...?
samueljames From: samueljames Date: March 10th, 2012 01:29 am (UTC) (Link)
Ouch. Poor Becker. I'm sure he'll push through the pain but lets hope that's enough.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: March 10th, 2012 11:11 am (UTC) (Link)
Thanks. I'm sure he's tough enough for that. The question is whether he can dig himself out and get back to safety in time!
36 comments or Leave a comment