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Drabble: Moonlight Over Helmand - athene
deinonychus_1
deinonychus_1
Drabble: Moonlight Over Helmand

Written for primeval100 challenge 289 - Headlights on a Dark Road

Title: Moonlight Over Helmand
Author: Athene
Fandom: Primeval
Characters: Becker
Rating: PG
Warnings: none
Spoilers: none
Challenge: 289 – Headlights on a Dark Road
Word count: 100
Disclaimer: Not mine. ITV and Impossible Pictures own them.


A sliver of a crescent moon watched the night patrol move through the desert below.

The new young captain stared out into the pitch darkness, his trigger finger twitching at every imagined movement. Their night-vision scopes were the best available, but he still couldn’t quell the irrational urge to turn the headlights on.

Here, now, he understood the childish belief in the power of a light to make everything safe.

A shooting star briefly lit up the night sky.

“Mortar!”

The desert exploded into light and noise, adrenaline and blood, until his patrol found the safety of darkness once more.



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36 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
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clea2011 From: clea2011 Date: November 20th, 2012 11:34 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oooh, great drabble. Very atmospheric. Poor Becker.

deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: November 22nd, 2012 08:26 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks. I have no idea where ths drabble came from, but it was either this or Connor!whumping!
freddiejoey From: freddiejoey Date: November 21st, 2012 12:01 am (UTC) (Link)
This is so powerful!
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: November 22nd, 2012 08:26 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks!
joshinator From: joshinator Date: November 21st, 2012 12:55 am (UTC) (Link)
Wow! Strong drabble.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: November 22nd, 2012 08:27 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks. And that is a great icon!
dreamer_98 From: dreamer_98 Date: November 21st, 2012 03:56 am (UTC) (Link)
Very intense. I can feel Becker's nerves and fear here. Great drabble!
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: November 22nd, 2012 08:28 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks, that sort of situation must be scary!
adafrog From: adafrog Date: November 21st, 2012 04:28 am (UTC) (Link)
Wow.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: November 22nd, 2012 08:28 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks!
lukadreaming From: lukadreaming Date: November 21st, 2012 07:47 am (UTC) (Link)
I really like this - it's very scary and atmospheric.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: November 22nd, 2012 08:30 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks, I was quite pleased with this one, considering it was very last minute.
fredbassett From: fredbassett Date: November 21st, 2012 07:55 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh wow, this is extremely vivid! The juxtaposition of shooting star and mortar was great.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: November 22nd, 2012 08:31 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks, I'm not sure where this idea came from, but once the image was in my head I had to write it.
fififolle From: fififolle Date: November 21st, 2012 07:59 am (UTC) (Link)
Eep! Poor Becker. That was very atmospheric *wibble*
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: November 22nd, 2012 08:34 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks. Poor Becker indeed *hugs him*
kristen_mara From: kristen_mara Date: November 21st, 2012 10:49 am (UTC) (Link)

Great atmosphere and the twist of light not making everything safe after all

deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: November 22nd, 2012 08:35 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks! Yes, that's definitely not the time or place to be advertising your presence by putting lights on.
stealingpennies From: stealingpennies Date: November 21st, 2012 01:59 pm (UTC) (Link)

Very atmospheric - captures Becker's fear and uncertainty.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: November 22nd, 2012 08:35 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks, I'm glad that effect came across.
nietie From: nietie Date: November 21st, 2012 03:01 pm (UTC) (Link)
The first thing that came to my mind was: Wow, very atmospheric! No wonder others commented the same *g*
Awesome drabble.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: November 22nd, 2012 08:36 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks! That does seem to be the general feeling about this one.
ebonyfeather From: ebonyfeather Date: November 21st, 2012 08:11 pm (UTC) (Link)
Excellent drabble- great take on the prompt!
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: November 22nd, 2012 08:37 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks!
telperion_15 From: telperion_15 Date: November 21st, 2012 08:40 pm (UTC) (Link)
This is really evocative...
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: November 22nd, 2012 08:37 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks, I'm glad it seems to have worked so well.
celeste9 From: celeste9 Date: November 22nd, 2012 03:06 am (UTC) (Link)
That's really nicely realized, great little snapshot.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: November 22nd, 2012 08:39 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks. Poor Becker, but at least this backstory wasn't about his unhappy childhood this time.
47eleven From: 47eleven Date: November 22nd, 2012 05:55 am (UTC) (Link)
Great atmosphere and drabble.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: November 22nd, 2012 08:39 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks!
36 comments or Leave a comment
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