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fanfic: Drowning - athene
deinonychus_1
deinonychus_1
fanfic: Drowning

Title: Drowning

Author: Athene

Fandom: Primeval

Pairing/characters: Nick, Connor, (Nick/Claudia implied).

Rating: PG

Warnings: none

Spoilers: episode 6

Disclaimer: Not mine. ITV and Impossible Pictures own them.

Word count: approx 470

Summary: Amid all the loss, Nick isn’t the only one who’s drowning.

AN: This was originally a drabble idea for the Primeval 100 challenge ‘New Beginnings’, but it kept growing and refused to be 100 words.

 

           The scotch bottle was empty. Nick glared at it for a moment, then hurled it at the wall. The spray of shattered glass mocked him like the anomaly that had stolen Claudia.   
            
“Professor?” Connor was standing in the office doorway. He didn’t seem particularly surprised by the display of anger. He was used to Nick’s moods by now.

            “She’s gone,” Nick said. “I can’t find her.” He felt empty.

            Connor didn’t say anything, but he came into the office and closed the door behind him.

Nick slumped down into his seat. He didn’t want to take his anger out on the young man, he knew it wasn’t fair. Especially considering that Connor was the one who had spent the last three weeks helping him in his ultimately futile search for Claudia.

“We tried. You tried. But you’re right, she’s gone.” Connor said.

Nick was so busy feeling sorry for himself that he almost failed to notice the tension in Connor’s voice, the sense that the younger man was trying to say something more important. A selfish part of him didn’t care. What could Connor be concerned about that would in any way compare to everything that he, Nick, had lost?

“This isn’t my world.”

“Maybe not,” Connor allowed hesitantly.  “But don’t you think you’ve chased your world for long enough now? It’s time to let it go, Professor.”

            “What? Just like that? Just give up?”

Even from his mire of self-pity, Nick couldn’t help but see the sudden snap of anger. Connor leaned across the table towards him, an unfamiliar hardness to his expression. “No. Not give up. Start over. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and deal with the fact that things are different in this timeline.”

            Nick stared at him. The Connor in his timeline would never have spoken to him like that. Another difference to adjust to.

            “You may not want to be here, but you are.” Connor hesitated, and his voice softened. “Professor, we can’t do this without you. It’s getting worse, people are dying. While you’re chasing after an impossibility, we’re… we’re drowning in this, Cutter. We need you. Please, let the past go. Come back to us.”

            Even an actual blow couldn’t possibly have surprised him as much as this metaphorical slap in the face. Nick looked, really looked at Connor for the first time in three weeks. He saw the same sense of loss reflected back at him. Maybe it was because of what had happened to his friend, but of all people, somehow Connor understood.

            Nick had lost so much; Claudia, Captain Ryan, his friendship with Stephen, and he now realised that his obsession with finding Claudia had almost cost him his team. Much as he hated to admit it, maybe Connor was right. Maybe it was time to accept this new world, this new beginning.

            The anomalies may have had stolen his past, but Nick was aware that they also offered him a new future. And it was going to start right now.

 

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22 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
fredbassett From: fredbassett Date: January 5th, 2008 01:38 pm (UTC) (Link)
Lovely angst :)

I like assertive Connor a lot! I'm glad you didn't shrink this one. Too much to bottle up in 100 words, but great like this!
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: January 5th, 2008 05:38 pm (UTC) (Link)
mmmmmm.... assertive!Connor.... *goes to happy visual place*

Thanks, this fic *really* didn't want to be a drabble, and I'm also quite glad that I let it grow now. Although that's twice now in the last couple of weeks that I've tried to write a drabble and it's ended up being another ficlet. I really must actually try to write a proper drabble at some point.
munchkinofdoom From: munchkinofdoom Date: January 5th, 2008 02:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh, this is interesting! It really is a different world that Nick has stepped back into, as far as we can see from the promos vids and photos from the second season, and Nick - no matter how he feels - is going to have to come to terms with that.

But what really intrigues me here is the difference in Connor. It will be interesting to see just how different Nick's team really is, what with Connor dressed in black and carrying weapons!!!!

Nicely done.
fredbassett From: fredbassett Date: January 5th, 2008 02:23 pm (UTC) (Link)
"what with Connor dressed in black and carrying weapons!!!!! YUMMY

I'm finding new!Connor strangely attractive ........

Naturally I blame D and 3Y !
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: January 5th, 2008 05:50 pm (UTC) (Link)
"Naturally I blame D and 3Y !"

Excellent! At least you two aren't the only bad influences round here.

"I'm finding new!Connor strangely attractive"

OI! The queue starts behind me. I saw attractive action!Connor first!
fredbassett From: fredbassett Date: January 5th, 2008 06:15 pm (UTC) (Link)
You did, I have to admit it. *steps politely back in line*

But can I play with your toys when you're broken them, please?
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: January 5th, 2008 07:18 pm (UTC) (Link)
Of course you can. I was only intending to break him a little bit.

*whistles innocently and hopes no-one notices the steamroller of angst I've got plannned for him later*
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: January 5th, 2008 05:47 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks. I keep playing with post-ep-6 scenarios, and I'm sure that no matter what we all write, canon is going to stomp all over our fic-verses next week. But you're right, the trailer and spoilers that I've seen all suggest a quite different world in some respects, and Nick's going to have an interesting time adjusting.

Asuming that Nick and Stephen's relationship is ripped to shreds after episode 6, I can't help but think that Connor might end up being something of a substitute, certainly in terms of knowledge and scientific backup, even if not in the sense of friendship, and if he is the all new hard action!Connor, it ought to be very interesting indeed.
telperion_15 From: telperion_15 Date: January 5th, 2008 05:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
Go Connor! I'm actually hoping new!Connor will be a bit more like this, so long as he can just get over his awe of the whole anomaly situation...

Not long now until we find out what's actually going to happen... *eep*

Angst for the win!
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: January 5th, 2008 05:56 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks, I do like a good excuse for Nick!angst.

I'm kind of hoping new Connor will be a bit harder like this as well. I keep thinking about that trailer that was posted on Primeval_ITV last week, and that moment with combat!Connor + gun, and I keep having rather embarrasing mini-squees. I *so* can't wait until next weekend.
rodlox From: rodlox Date: January 5th, 2008 06:37 pm (UTC) (Link)

*loves this*

awesome.

simply awesome.
(mind you, I think Nick's still going to keep looking for Claudia - just not as single-mindedly)

good show, Connor.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: January 5th, 2008 07:14 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: *loves this*

Thanks. I managed to write more het again, didn't I? Yey for het!

Nick probably wouldn't give up looking for her, at least not after only three weeks. After all, he gave up believing that he could find Helen, and then she came back, so he would be unwilling to give up on finding Claudia quite so easily.

But, as Connor so rightly pointed out, there are other priorities to consider.
rodlox From: rodlox Date: January 5th, 2008 07:46 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: *loves this*

you're very welcome. you sure did. thank you! *bows to you*

good point about Helen. (wonder how she feels about that - being a precedent) ;)

yep
missyvortexdv From: missyvortexdv Date: January 6th, 2008 11:49 pm (UTC) (Link)
Nice. :) Though I do find the formatting, with no line breaks, hard on the eyes.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: January 7th, 2008 08:25 am (UTC) (Link)
Thanks. Sorry about the formatting, I just tend to cut and paste straight out of Word, so that's what it ends up like.
aelfgyfu_mead From: aelfgyfu_mead Date: November 27th, 2008 06:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
Now I'm going to believe that Nick did try, with Connor's help, to get Claudia back; there was just nothing they could do.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: November 27th, 2008 09:31 pm (UTC) (Link)
It would be nice to think that. And if Cutter really was determined to find Claudia then Connor has to be the best one to help him because Connor is probably the only one who would fully understand the temporal physics and changed timelines.
knitekat From: knitekat Date: August 11th, 2009 09:40 pm (UTC) (Link)
Poor angsty Nick, nice to see a confident Connor making him see sense.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: August 11th, 2009 10:06 pm (UTC) (Link)
I wrote this a week or so before S2 aired, and I was still hopeful that Nick would try to find Claudia and get the timeline back. Well, I guess I was right about Connor being more confident and mature and becoming Nick's friend in place of Stephen, but I was completely wrong about the searching for Claudia bit!
reggietate From: reggietate Date: March 3rd, 2012 09:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
Fascinating to see where this differs in tone from the 'real' S2, but yet could so easily have fitted into it if you imagine a little more time elapses before Nick turns up on Jenny's doorstep after the ep 2 anomaly is dealt with.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: March 3rd, 2012 11:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
thanks. Yeah, I think I wrote this one shortly before series 2 actually aired, when I was still convinced that Nick was going to search for a way to get Claudia back. It really is a shame they dropped it so quickly, it would have been a fascinating story angle to play with - Nick adjusting to the new timeline and trying to find ways to 'fix' it, even if he eventually had to admit he was stuck.

(sorry for the delay replying - my e-mail comment notifications have been a bit erratic all day. The only reason I've spotted that you commented on these is because I checked my lj inbox because I was expecting a message from someone, and I was startled to find an influx of fic comments!)
reggietate From: reggietate Date: March 3rd, 2012 11:34 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yeah, LJ has been pretty erratic on that score all day, so no worries.

One of the problems with the shorter length of series we tend to get these days is that a lot of plot gets left out. Back in the days of 13 eps per series, there was a lot more room for development.
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