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Fanfic: Captain Becker's Nightmare - athene
deinonychus_1
deinonychus_1
Fanfic: Captain Becker's Nightmare


Title: Captain Becker’s Nightmare
Author: Athene
Fandom: Primeval
Pairing/characters: Becker/Connor
Rating: 12
Warnings: Death of a small furry mammal
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: Not mine. ITV and Impossible Pictures own them.
Word count: approx 655
Summary: Becker and Connor are in a sticky situation.
AN: Written as a result of conversations in yesterday’s Denial daily chat. I would like to blame kristen_mara, but unfortunately my subconscious is wholly responsible for this insanity.



“Ow!”

“Stop being such a baby, Becks.”

“Well stop pulling it!”

“Look, just stand still,” Connor said, not even trying to keep the amusement out of his voice.

Becker glared, but complied with the instruction. Connor turned the shower spray down a little, and then returned his attention to gently massaging a handful of foamy shower gel onto Becker’s chest. This ought to have been sexy and romantic, but in the circumstances it was anything but sexy.

“I suppose you think this is funny?”

Connor couldn’t suppress a grin.

“A bit, yeah.”

“This is your fault, you know.”

“You agreed to be tied up.”

You were the one who decided to introduce food. And why the hell couldn’t you use something sensible? They make chocolate body paint specifically for that sort of thing.”

“We didn’t have any of that. I was improvising.”

“You improvised with golden syrup!”

Connor just rolled his eyes and appeared to be focussing his attention on the removal of said syrup. Becker knew he was beginning to sound petulant, but he wasn’t letting this one go.

“And besides, what made you think it was a good idea to get it anywhere near my chest hair?”

“That was an accident,” Connor muttered for about the fifth time. “Not my fault you’re so fuzzy.”

“It’s not my fault you can’t aim straight. Ow!”

This time Connor looked mildly concerned as he tugged on the sticky matted mess of chest hair again.

“Um....”

“What the hell does ‘um’ mean? I don’t want to hear ‘um’, Connor.”

“I don’t want you to worry, but I think my fingers have got tangled.”

He tugged again, and Becker let out a particularly unmanly yelp.

“Stop that!”

“Stand still!”

“I’m not the one moving!”

Connor carefully extricated his fingers, wincing every now and then as Becker whimpered. Eventually he was free, and Becker poked warily at his chest. It still felt sticky, despite ten minutes of soap and showering.

“I think it might be a lost cause, mate,” Connor admitted, at least having the grace to look guilty. He leaned out of the shower to snag something from the shelf above the sink, and Becker stared in horror as Connor brandished a razor at him.



“Here you go. Sausage and bacon and fried egg butty.”

Connor gave him an apologetic smile along with the peace offering breakfast. Becker stared at it glumly, even the thought of his favourite pig in a bun combination not enough to distract him.

“I feel cold and naked now.”

Connor’s eyebrows went up, and he didn’t try very hard to suppress a smile.

“I think it looks nice. All smooth and sexy like that.” He reached out to run a hand over Becker’s chest, but Becker pulled away.

Connor rolled his eyes. “You know what? You’re right. You’re bald and hideous and I don’t want to cuddle you at all any more.”

Becker glared.

“Oh, shut up. Besides, you really will be complaining in a couple of days when it starts to grow back and it’s all stubbly and scratchy.” A horrible thought occurred to him. “Oh god, it’s going to itch like mad!”

“But think of it this way; once it’s finished being itchy, it’ll grow back even thicker and fluffier than it was before. And then I’ll get my cosy furry pillow back again.”

Becker briefly entertained the threat of never letting Connor anywhere near his chest ever again, but quickly decided that would probably be counterproductive the next time he wanted sex. He bit into his breakfast butty, careful not to let the runny egg yolk drip anywhere except on the plate. He had to admit Connor made good apology breakfasts. Messy, but good. Kind of like the man himself, Becker mused.

Connor seemed to be deep in thought as he watched.

“If it bothers you so much you could get a chest wig.”

“Oh, shut up.”



Tags: , , , ,
Current Mood: silly silly

48 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
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lukadreaming From: lukadreaming Date: March 25th, 2012 04:23 pm (UTC) (Link)
LOL! Oh noooooooo, poor George!
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: March 25th, 2012 06:53 pm (UTC) (Link)
Poor George indeed. Collatoral damage of Connor's sexual adventures!
tli From: tli Date: March 25th, 2012 04:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
Ahahahaha, brilliant!
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: March 25th, 2012 06:53 pm (UTC) (Link)
thanks, glad you enjoyed it.
clea2011 From: clea2011 Date: March 25th, 2012 04:34 pm (UTC) (Link)
LOL! Poor Becker!
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: March 25th, 2012 06:54 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hee, thanks. I know, poor boy. He must feel so naked without his fur coat!
fredbassett From: fredbassett Date: March 25th, 2012 04:35 pm (UTC) (Link)
GEORGE!!!!!

He's now a bald possum!!! That's totally tragic. *g*
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: March 25th, 2012 06:55 pm (UTC) (Link)
Poor George, it's a horrible thing to do to a possum!
textualdeviance From: textualdeviance Date: March 25th, 2012 05:26 pm (UTC) (Link)
*snort*

Ah, the wee chest possum. We barely knew ye!
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: March 25th, 2012 06:56 pm (UTC) (Link)
Poor Becker, losing his possum like that!
fififolle From: fififolle Date: March 25th, 2012 05:38 pm (UTC) (Link)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

OMG I CAN'T STOP.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: March 25th, 2012 06:57 pm (UTC) (Link)
*backs away slowly* Thanks, glad you enjoyed it! :-)
bigtitch From: bigtitch Date: March 25th, 2012 07:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
LOL! Poor George though.
*weeps*
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: March 26th, 2012 07:02 pm (UTC) (Link)
I was very mean to the furry little possum, but it was fun!
aunteeneenah From: aunteeneenah Date: March 25th, 2012 07:33 pm (UTC) (Link)

/captain Becker's Nightmare

Ahh, Thank you, Darlin'. You made me giggle! Only Connor would introduce sticky syrup to Becker's nice, thick chest hair! lol Love it!
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: March 26th, 2012 07:03 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: /captain Becker's Nightmare

Lol, thanks. Connor really didn't think that one through before he started, did he?
sandyleepotts From: sandyleepotts Date: March 25th, 2012 07:42 pm (UTC) (Link)

Captain Becker's nightmare

Very good.

Usually I don't like the Becker/Connor pairing, but this was good.

Not too smutty, although the suggestions were there.

Well done!
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: March 26th, 2012 07:04 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Captain Becker's nightmare

Thanks, glad you enjoyed it, even if you're not a fan of the pairing.
tay_21 From: tay_21 Date: March 25th, 2012 08:39 pm (UTC) (Link)
BAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That last line... *keels over laughing hysterically*

Oh this was good. Poor Becker. Connor really can make a mess of the simplest of circumstances. :-D

Fantastic little bit of fun here. I loved it. Though I wouldn't have minded reading the lead in with Becker being tied up. :-P *Iz predictable* LOVED this.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: March 26th, 2012 07:06 pm (UTC) (Link)
lol, thanks! No, Connor really didn't engage his brain before he embarked on this endeavour, and now poor Becker is all smooth and naked!
knitekat From: knitekat Date: March 25th, 2012 09:06 pm (UTC) (Link)
LOL. Brilliant and only Connor ;) Poor Becker and especially, poor George.
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: March 26th, 2012 07:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
hee, thanks. Yep, only Connor would think that golden syrup and chest hair could ever be a sensible combination!
freddiejoey From: freddiejoey Date: March 25th, 2012 09:06 pm (UTC) (Link)
Your subconscious has my thanks!
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: March 26th, 2012 07:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
hee, thanks, glad you liked it.
flaccidduck From: flaccidduck Date: March 25th, 2012 09:38 pm (UTC) (Link)
This is bloody great!
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: March 26th, 2012 07:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
thanks!
judithjohn From: judithjohn Date: March 25th, 2012 09:48 pm (UTC) (Link)
You’re bald and hideous and I don’t want to cuddle you at all any more.”

Ha ha!
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: March 26th, 2012 07:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
thanks, glad you liked it.
telperion_15 From: telperion_15 Date: March 25th, 2012 10:13 pm (UTC) (Link)
*snorts in a manner unbecoming to a lady*
deinonychus_1 From: deinonychus_1 Date: March 26th, 2012 07:10 pm (UTC) (Link)
lol! *wonders when the term 'lady' ever applied to any of the Denial gang*
48 comments or Leave a comment
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